The pink and the horny
by GentleGravity
Summary: We all know that Choromatsu has a thing for a specific pink cutie called Nyaa-chan... but what happens when he realize that one of his brothers is also a pink cutie? Multi-chap M rated. Will be on AO3 shortly.
1. Chapter 1: Pink

Much like any other day the Matsuno brothers were scattered about in the living room with an unspoken agreement to let the day pass them by. On this particular sunny Friday afternoon they were all too consumed by their own pastimes to pay any close attention to each other. The only brother who seemed to keep an eye out for his brothers and their actions was Choromatsu. Rather than being curious about their activities it was a way to make sure they wouldn't notice what he himself was up to. He was reading a teen girl magazine. Normally he would never read anything like this, but this issue was a special edition featuring his favorite Idol Nyaa-chan. He turned another page and was struck by a rush of joy as he laid eyes on a close up of her adorable face surrounded by that pink perfect hair. Feeling a bit ridiculous about his strong reaction to a photograph in a magazine he gently stroked the image with his fingertips. How could anyone be so cute? Her smile was captivating and those eyes whispered words to him he had never heard before. This must be what heaven is like. Feeling a bit embarrassed by his actions a flush of heat spread across his skin. He could almost feel the sweat drops forming on his forehead. Swallowing a new-formed lump in his throat he once again shot a glance through the room looking for hints of condescension or amusement in his brothers' eyes. However, there was none. It was as if he didn't exist. Before returning his attention to his beloved Nyaa-chan he shot an extra glance at the brother closest to him; Osomatsu. He couldn't understand how someone would choose to play cards with themselves rather than diving into a world of wonderful and cute idols. Still, he appreciated his brother's concentration in his game because there was no way he would notice his magazine. With a sigh of relief he turned another page.

Todomatsu was sat on the floor with his back against the wall, knees bent and his phone in hand, scrolling through a new-found fashion blog on his phone. Even though he didn't boast about his fashion interest as his older brother Karamatsu did he still cared about his appearance. The two of them often ended up talking about fashion even though they had completely different tastes; it was still an interest they both shared. However, there was no way he would tell his brother about this. As if Karamatsu could read his mind Todomatsu threw a nervous glance in his direction to make sure he was still across the room reading his "perfect fashion" magazine. While he was at it he also made sure Ichimatsu was still asleep next to him; it would be bad if he woke up and got a glimpse of the blog over his shoulder. As soon as Todomatsu returned his attention back to his phone he noticed out of the corner of his eye that Choromatsu was looking in his direction. A flush of nervousness made his body tense up. There was no way he could see his screen from over there, was it? Trying to keep a poker face he scrolled a bit further down the blog. Finally Choromatsu looked away from him again. What the hell was that? Todomatsu discretely glanced in his older brother's direction. Had he really seen it? No there was no way. He looked back down at his phone and smiled. He had never before seen such cute outfits, if he could even call them that. A particular item of clothing caught his eye, how he wished he could wear it himself. The thought of it got him really excited and he soon pressed the link which took him to the internet store where they were sold. At the store webpage his yaw almost dropped open. Everything was ridiculously cute, this was heaven for sure. If only he had the courage to buy these kinds of things. If his brothers found out he would be too embarrassed to face them ever again, and so this interest of his had to remain a secret between himself and his phone. Suddenly a shock of pain spread from his face down to the back of his head and down his spine.

Feeling a bit dizzy the youngest brother tried to make sense of the scene playing before him. Jyuushimatsu was screaming something really loudly and rushing towards him. What was he screaming? He wasn't sure.  
"AAGGHHH I'M SORRY!" Jyuushimatsu reached his younger brother and sat down on the floor in front of him.  
At the same time Choromatsu got on his feet.  
"Jyuushimatsu what are you doing!? Don't throw a baseball around inside the house!" He shouted and took a few steps towards the younger two.  
Neither Karamatsu nor Osomatsu said anything but kept a close eye on what was happening. Jyuushimatsu ignored his older brother and looked at Todomatsu with that specific Jyuushimatsu stare only he was capable of.  
"Are you okay Todomatsu nii-chan?" he asked with a big smile.  
Todomatsu stared back at his brother and then his attention turned to the baseball lying next to him on the floor. Before answering he returned his gaze back to his older brother.  
"Yeah… I think so" he still felt a bit out of it.  
"Really?" Jyuushimatsu's face and tone remained the same as he continued: "You're bleeding"  
Karamatsu put down his magazine and stood up as to intervene but once again Choromatsu beat him to it.  
"Don't say something like that so casually! Take responsibility! Or no actually you'd probably make things worse, just take your baseball and get out of here!"  
Todomatsu wasn't paying attention to his brothers. He hadn't realized anything until Jyuushimatsu told him, but now he couldn't shake the feeling of blood escaping his nasal cavity. Soon he could taste the blood in his mouth.  
"But I said I'm sorry" Jyuushimatsu had turned to his older brother and complained.  
Choromatsu was just about to reply when Todomatsu suddenly stood up and rushed past them with both his hands covering his nose and mouth. Instead of giving Jyuushimatsu another lecture Choromatsu sighed of exasperation.  
"Just go outside and play catch or something, take Karamatsu with you"  
Karamatsu's and Jyuushimatsu's eyes met.  
"OKAY!" Jyuushimatsu practically yelled with a wide smile across his face.  
Karamatsu couldn't really think of anything more boring than playing catch but there was nothing he wouldn't do for his beloved brothers, and quite frankly, spending time with any of them made his heart sing with joy. He walked up to them with his dazzling signature smile.  
"Let's go burazzah!" he said as he struck a pose.  
"Hussle hussle!" Jyuushimatsu hurried out of the living room with Karamatsu following close behind.  
At this point Osomatsu lost interest in the situation and turned his attention back to the cards before him on the floor. Choromatsu turned to look at Ichimatsu who was still asleep. How could he have slept through all of that noise? That was when something on the floor next to Ichimatsu caught his attention. It was a phone, Todomatsu's phone.

Choromatsu hesitated for a second before picking it up. It was the first time he had ever touched his younger brother's phone. Todomatsu was really protective of it and never let it out of his sight. Especially since he got his new pink phone case covered in sparkling stars. Surprised by the soft touch of the rubbery case Choromatsu almost dropped the phone again. He had expected it to be made out of hard plastic but instead it was really soft. How odd. Without really thinking much of it he turned the phone around and stared directly at the screen. It took a few seconds before he realized what he was looking at. He never intended to peek; he was actually really surprised that the auto-lock hadn't shut the screen of yet. Slowly a blush started to spread across his face. The entire screen was covered by an image of pink garters with white details. Why had his brother been looking at this? Had he been turning himself on in their living room!? With all his brothers present!? Choromatsu felt a bit dizzy. That was when he realized the color was the same shade as Nyaa-chans hair. Suddenly the blush on his face grew more intense. Images of his beloved Nyaa-chan wearing the garters flashed through his mind and he could feel a slowly growing hard-on. He threw an eye in Osomatsu's direction to make sure he hadn't noticed anything. Good. With the motion however he accidentally touched the screen with his thumb which closed the image down. As he returned his attention back to the screen the image of the garters had been replaced by a ton of smaller images of similar items of clothing. It was a lingerie online shop. Choromatsu's jaw almost dropped open. Once again images of Nyaa-chan wearing lingerie flashed before him. His whole body tensed up and he struggled to keep his breathing steady. This was really bad. He had to calm down and he had to get out of there before Osomatsu noticed anything. Feeling disgusted by his growing hard on in the presence of his brothers made his tense body shiver with embarrassment. How could he ever face them if they realized? And what was even worse was that he had gotten hard from looking at images on his youngest brothers phone. He really was the worst. Trying to remain a steady voice he clenched the phone tighter in his hand.  
"I'll go check on Todomatsu" he said.  
Osomatsu quetly replied with a noice of agreement without looking up from the cards.

With blood covering his hands Todomatsu hadn't been able to turn on the lights upon entering the bathroom. Now he was stood bent over the sink trying to wash the blood away from his face and hands with the open door to the hallway as his only source of light. Now and again he would look up in the mirror to see if the blood had finally stopped and every time he was equally disappointed. Slowly growing annoyed with his bent over position he decided to use a wet paper towel to wash it off instead.  
"Are you okay?"  
The voice made him jump and he quickly spun around. Choromatsu was standing in the doorway blocking out some of the light. Once Todomatsu identified the source of the voice he returned his attention back to the mirror and his bloody face.  
"Yes I think so, looks like the bleeding is finally stopping"  
Choromatsu turned on the lights for his younger brother and took a few hesitant steps into the room.  
"Thanks" Todomatsu said as he finished up cleaning the blood from his face.  
Shame still hovered above Choromatsu and he felt a lump growing in his throat. Calm down.  
"Did you want something else?" Todomatsu once again turned his attention to his older brother.  
"You… you dropped your phone" Choromatsu's voice was low, almost like a whisper.  
Todomatsu froze on the spot. The tension in the room quickly grew thick.  
"It… it was locked right?" Todomatsu almost stammered as he reached out to grab his phone.  
"Yes" The older brother still didn't dare to look him in the eye.  
Todomatsu stared at his brother with a horrified expression. Somehow he didn't feel like he could trust Choromatsu right now. He had seen it. Why would he react like this otherwise? Should he say something? Was Choromatsu going to say something? The silence made him extremely uncomfortable and he desperately tried to figure out something to say. At that moment his older brother finally raised his head to look at him.  
The first thing he notices was that Todomatsu was blushing heavily; his cheeks had turned into the same color pink as the sweater he wore. He looked really cute as he averted his older brother's gaze. Suddenly he felt a familiar rush of joy as he watched the pink mess in front of him. It was the same rush of joy he felt whenever he was looking at photos of Nyaa-chan. Choromatsu's eyes widened. How had he never noticed that the shade of pink Todomatsu wore was the same as Nyaa-chan's hair… Nyaa-chan. The images from before quickly reappeared in his mind, only this time Nyaa-chan had been replaced with Todomatsu. A blush spread across the older brother's face as his heart began to beat faster. NO WAY. His erection twitched in his pants and he stared at his younger brother with panic in his eyes. WHAT DO I DO? This was bad, really bad. He had to get out of there right now. In that moment Todomatsu looked back at him. They stared at each other in silence with blushing faces.  
"I…" Choromatsu tried but he just couldn't continue.  
Todomatsu looked down at his phone and unlocked it. His heart sank to his stomach. The screen no longer showed the image he had had opened when he dropped it but instead the online shop he had been browsing before.  
"You did look, didn't you?" Todomatsu said with a silent voice filled with shame.  
Not realizing his mistake Choromatsu still tried to pretend like he was innocent.  
"No, really I didn't…" Choromatsu's voice almost cracked.  
Todomatsu still hadn't noticed his erection right? He could still get out of this. Without looking up from his phone Todomatsu bit his lip. For the first time in his life he wished that his brother had mistaken the situation for him getting off, he would much rather have Choromatsu believe that than having him realize the true reason he had been on that site. With a low voice he finally spoke up:  
"You minimized the image"  
The older brother's face turned an even deeper shade of red.  
"I…" Choromatsu started but once again he was cut off by his own incompetence to calm down.  
Another few seconds of awkward silence passed them by before he managed to contine.  
"I… I'm gonna go now"  
Todomatsu didn't stop him. Instead he kept on staring at his phone whilst cursing himself for leaving it behind. It would never happen again.

With hands clammy of sweat Choromatsu fumbled the bedroom door behind him shut. This was not happening, he had to calm down. He had always been the most proper out of the brothers. Now as he was standing with his back against the door, panting heavily with a cock begging for attention he felt like he was the worst out of the bunch. Todomatsu in lingerie had made him harder than when he imagined Nyaa-chan wearing them. How could this be? Disgusting, I am disgusting. The heat rushing through his body made him sweat so much he had to take off his sweater. With a swift movement he threw it to the side and slid his back down the door until he was sitting down on the floor. Disgusting, disgusting, disgusting, I am disgusting. He repeated the words over and over again in his head as his hand slowly wandered closer to the zipper of his jeans. Disgusting, disgusting, so disgusting, a lowlife, a pervert, I am the worst. As he slowly unbuttoned his jeans his fingers brushed against his throbbing erection through the fabric. There was no way he could contain the pleasured gasp that escaped his lips at the touch. Shit, stop. Todomatsu was his youngest brother and jerking off to imagining him in lingerie was too disgusting. Guilt was stabbing his chest harder and harder for each passing second. Calm down, calm down you idiot. He desperately searched the room with his eyes to find something, anything, that could distract him from committing this unforgivable sin he was about to give in to. But the harder he looked the harder his cock seemed to grow. Somehow the whole situation of him desperately trying to escape sin made him even more excited. What kind of sick bastard was he? Choromatsu swallowed a lump in his throat before looking down at the one in his pants. Slowly moving his fingers closer to it sweat appeared on his forehead and his breath quickened. The images of his brother in frilly underwear just wouldn't go away. A deep breath later Choromatsu's cupped his length through the fabric of his underwear. Fuck. The touch made him throb even harder and he could practically feel it through his fingertips. Heat was oozing out of him as if he tried to raise the temperature in the entire house.  
"F…Fuuuuck" he whispered without realizing it.  
He was losing his mind trying to fight the urge but the simple touch through his pants felt so good that he barely dared to imagine the pleasure he would feel if he actually jerked off. This is wrong, this is wrong, this is wrong. The words echoed through his mind as he slowly allowed his hand to creep in beneath the fabric of his pants. You can still stop, it's not too late, don't give in… don't give in… don't give… don't… give… A loud moan escaped his lips as his hand grasped around his hard, throbbing, erection. Skin on skin contact felt so much better after all. Once again guilt struck him, but at this point the pleasure was too intense for him to care. He started to stroke his length carefully with the images of his brother in lingerie getting clearer and clearer in his mind; pink lingerie with the pink blush from the bathroom spread across his face. Slowly pumping harder and harder his breath grew unsteady as the pleasure overthrew him. The combination of the pleasure, the images in his mind and the sound of his actions made him feel disgusting; he truly was a pervert. He felt defeated admitting it, but god it felt so good. As his breathing got heavier it became harder to conceal his moans and it didn't take long before they escaped his throat. Todomatsu's pink blushing face was burnt into the inside of his eyelids and he couldn't help but whisper his name between the moans. Tension built up inside him and he knew he was close. The guilt was long gone and completely taken over by the intense pleasure. A loud moan later a shiver shot through his body as he released his load into the air. Heavily panting his movements slowed down as his body started to calm down. Extremely satisfied he leaned back on the door as he tried to catch his breath. Staring into the ceiling he slowly returned to reality, but he wished he hadn't. As he realized what had happened his heart sank into his stomach. The intense guilt caused his whole body to jerk forward and the regret manifesting in his heart was extremely painful. How could he ever face his little brother again?


	2. Chapter 2: Confession

That night neither of the two brothers could fall asleep. Wide awake tossing and turning they were both trying to pretend like nothing was wrong, but they both knew it was useless. After all they both knew about the awkward encounter that took place in the bathroom earlier, they both knew about what Todomatsu had been looking at. However, Todomatsu still didn't know how Choromatsu had reacted after he left; he didn't know he had jerked off thinking about his younger brother. Choromatsu was almost sweating of nervousness and anxiety as he tried to stay as still as possible in a ridiculously failed attempt to pretend that he was asleep. Todomatsu wasn't buying it the slightest. The younger was trying to decide whether he wanted to clear things out between them or pretend that Choromatsu never saw anything and go on with their usual daily lives. Eyeing his obviously awake brother he tried to come up with what he would actually say if he confronted him about it.

Choromatsu could feel the piercing gaze of his brother's eyes in the back of his neck. Uncomfortable enough for sweat to slowly appear on his forehead the older brother faced the other way as his body tossed and turned. They had been like this for the past 15 minutes and Choromatsu couldn't wait until he was able to fall asleep, it was the first time in a really long time he longed for sleep this bad. He wanted a break from this fucked up reality he was living in and what he had done, he wanted to fall asleep and escape for just a little while what a shitty and perverted brother he was. Regretting his mistakes the anxiety sent shivers down his spine forcing him to dig his nails into his skin to prevent having a fit. Everything about this situation was horrible and all he could do was feel sorry for himself that he had been born to be a perverted asshole that would use his own brother as spanking material. With his eyes clenched shut and his concentration on seeming to be asleep he barely heard his younger brother speak out to him. It took several few tries, but eventually he could hear Todomatsu whispering his name in the darkness of the brother's bedroom. His body tensed up and a heat of wave made the sweat really apparent on his skin. Cursing himself for not being convincing enough about his pretend sleep he slowly turned around to face his younger brother. Normally he wouldn't be able to see his brother in this darkness but right now his eyes were accustomed due to him staying awake for so long. The younger brother met his eyes with an emotionless expression across his face.  
"Bathroom" Todomatsu whispered before sitting up on the futon. "Now".  
Choromatsu couldn't reply. His throat felt clogged up and all he could do was silently follow his younger brother's lead.

Todomatsu stood up and walked out of the bedroom before his brother. It wasn't unusual for him to ask Choromatsu to accompany him to the bathroom in the middle of the night since he was known to be scared of the dark. He used it just in case any of the other brothers would hear them, if he called Choromatsu to the bathroom no one would bat an eye but if he had said something like "we need to talk" hell would surely break loose.

The younger brother was about as nervous as his older brother as they finally arrived outside the bathroom door. Heart beating loudly in his chest he tried hard to conceal it and how close he was to actually panicking. His older brother before him had a blush spread across his face and kept averting his eyes. Todomatsu couldn't help but wonder just fucked up Choromatsu thought he was, but this had to stop or the others would notice that something was off between them. He furrowed his brows and faked a smile before speaking up.  
"Look, Choromatsu, it's obvious that you're uncomfortable, we should talk about this".  
As he spoke the younger looked to the side and stared directly into the wall next to him. The corridor was dark and the only light came from a streetlight out the window. Choromatsu stared down at his feet trying to keep his face in the shadows; he didn't want Todomatsu to realize just how much he was blushing.  
"There's nothing to talk about" Choromatsu said with a low voice as his heart beat hard enough to show through his pajama shirt if one paid close attention.  
With clenched fists and determination in his voice Todomatsu turned his line of vision back to the older one's face.  
"That's not true" he took a step closer towards his brother and continued "It's obvious you've been avoiding me, so just tell me what it is, it's the pictures right? What do you think? Why does it bother you that I was looking at them?"  
The slight change of volume of his voice made Choromatsu worried that one of the brothers, or worse yet their parents, would hear them. This however made Choromatsu finally look up from his feet and he took a step closer to his younger brother to place a hand over his mouth.  
"Keep quiet or someone will hear us" he whispered with an angry tone.  
Todomatsu grabbed the older one's wrist to push his hand away from his mouth.  
"Fine, but we have to talk about this".

As Todomatsu's hand gripped his wrist Choromatsu immediately let go of the younger one. He took an unbalanced step backwards and looked away in a desperate try to conceal the ever growing blush on his cheeks. He pulled his arm away from the younger one who let it go surprisingly easy. He had seen it; the blush. They both stood in silence for a few minutes before Todomatsu finally spoke up.  
"Do you think I'm gross?" he asked defeated.  
Choromatsu bit his lip and furrowed his brows whilst contemplating his answer. What did he think? By all means Choromatsu was way worse than his brother but did he still think Todomatsu was gross for looking at lingerie with his brothers nearby. Why had he looked at them? It had to be a fetish of his right? He had been getting all hot and bothered in the living room with his brothers around… that's gross right? Choromatsu really didn't know what to think or what to say. All he knew was that he could definitely not admit to himself being even worse regardless of what Todomatsu had been doing.  
"I think…" he started, but stopped himself to reconsider his answer once again.  
He looked up to face his brother and they stared each other right in the eyes.  
"Yes" Choromatsu replied with a low but stern voice.  
A painful expression spread across the younger's face. Guilt quickly struck the older one and he slowly added "but it's okay".  
"It's not okay!"  
Todomatsu's loud reply made Choromatsu almost throw his hand across the younger's mouth again but a quick nonverbal conversation using glares it was obvious Todomatsu had realized his mistake.  
"I don't want to be gross…" This time Todomatsu whispered.  
Choromatsu bit his lip and thought about his own actions and how much worse he was than the younger before him.  
"…You can't help what you are…" he said hesitatingly.  
Todomatsu looked at his brother with a wondering expression. He wasn't sure what his older brother meant. Did he try to imply that he had secrets too? Swallowing a lump in his throat Todomatsu once again spoke.  
"What… what do you mean?... do you…"  
Choromatsu cut him off.  
"No"  
Once again the brothers stood silent surrounded by awkwardness and dim light.

Had it been a minute, five, ten? Todomatsu didn't know. With every second passing his heart sank deeper and deeper down into his stomach. He had no idea what he was supposed to say now. Declared to be the gross brother he felt defeated and unworthy to take up any space. Patiently waiting for the other to say something he struggled to keep back the tears from appearing in the corner of his eyes. Not daring to look up to face his brother Todomatsu stared down at his hands, cleaning the underside of his nails as if he was pretending nothing was wrong.  
"I won't say anything to the others" Choromatsu finally spoke up.  
Todomatsu immediately turned his attention back to his brother.  
"You won't?" his voice had a hint of hope in it.  
Maybe he could get away with only Choromatsu knowing about this after all. He had been worried that the older would make a big thing out of it and tell him how gross he was for wanting to wear lingerie. A faint smile almost appeared on his lips.  
"Thank you nii-san"  
Choromatsu still had a faint blush across his face, but it was barely visible.  
"Just…"he hesitated and Todomatsu's smile quickly disappeared from his face.  
"Just tell me why you were looking at that with all of us around? I get that it's a fetish of yours but why getting off in the living room? That's what gets me" Choromatsu's blush once again intensified and he averted eye contact with the younger.  
At first Todomatsu got confused; "getting off". Then he understood what Choromatsu had been thinking and his surprised face was slowly replaced by an extremely embarrassed one.  
"No… I wasn't getting off" Todomatsu almost whispered as his fingers were tugging at his shirt.  
This time it was Choromatsu's turn to be surprised.  
"What do you mean? Why else would you be looking at lingerie?"  
Todomatsu's blush spread all across his face and up to the tip of his ears.  
"I… I can't…" his eyes were clenched shut with brows furrowed above them.  
Choromatsu couldn't help but think that his younger brother was extremely adorable at this point but the observation was well hidden beneath the curiosity of why Todomatsu had been looking at lingerie if not to get off.  
"Hey…" Choromatsu put a hand on his brother's shoulder to comfort him before continuing, "If you weren't getting off then I won't say you're gross anymore, I thought you tried to get hard around us and that's why…"  
"Don't be stupid" Todomatsu cut his brother off, "That's not why…but… but I'm still gross"  
He couldn't hold back his tears anymore and they slowly started to appear in the corner of his eyes. Swiftly wiping it away with his pajama shirt sleeve he looked back up at his brother. Could he really say it? What would he think of him? The younger took a deep breath and felt his heart beat so fast and hard it actually hurt. The lump in his throat grew bigger and bigger as to prevent the words he was about to say from leave his mouth.  
"I…"He hesitated, took another deep breath and clenched his fists.  
"I thought they were cute and I… and I wanted to buy them for myself but I'm a man and I can't wear stuff like that and I'm a gross cross dresser and you all are going to think I'm disgusting and hate me". One after one the words escaped him as if he could not control it. After he was done tears slowly appeared in the corner of his eyes again, this time also making their way down his deeply blushing cheeks.

Choromatsu's jaw dropped open by the confession. He didn't want to believe what he was hearing, was he dreaming? There was no way the actual Todomatsu Matsuno, his younger brother, just spoke those words to him. He wanted to _wear_ them!? It was like a dream come true. Even though he himself only started dreaming of it a few hours ago.  
"Are you… are you serious?" Choromatsu asked.  
He could feel his heartbeat and the slowly growing heat inside of him. Any second sweat would probably appear on his forehead.  
"Y-yes" Todomatsu sniffled and wiped the tears of his face before giving his brother a stern expression "…but you can't tell anyone".  
Choromatsu felt a tingling somewhere inside his abdomen. Crap, this could not be happening, not again. In his mind Todomatsu's pajamas quickly turned into the frilly pink lingerie he had imagined him in earlier. The older opened his mouth to say something but no sound came out of his throat; instead a panting breath escaped his lips. Todomatsu gave his older brother an uncomfortable look.  
"What… what was that?" he asked.  
Just like his facial expression the younger's voice was sprinkled with hesitation and suspicion.  
"I…" This time it was Choromatsu's turn to hesitate.  
There was no way he could confess what he had done, it didn't matter that Todomatsu actually wanted to wear the lingerie, it was still way beyond fucked up to imagine your brother wearing it and then jerk off.  
"I… I'm just…surprised"  
Choromatsu finally let go of the younger's shoulder.  
"I… I didn't expect…I still won't tell the others…"  
He struggled to fight the urge to pull his brother in close, pressing their bodies against each other and tasting the younger's skin. He knew that there was no turning back from this upcoming boner; he had to jerk it to his brother once again. I'm a piece of shit, he thought to himself.  
"Good" Todomatsu said relieved.  
"So… are we okay with this? Is this okay? You're not grossed out? You don't think I'm weird?" The questions escaped him one after another before Todomatsu could stop himself.  
"Yeah…" Choromatsu replied quietly trying his best to hide the growing bulge in his pajama pants. Good thing they were quite baggy and the pajama shirt kind of long.  
"We should head back to bed then don't you think?" Todomatsu said with a faint smile.  
Choromatsu thought to himself that there was no way he could sleep with a boner and there was no way he could quietly jerk it under the covers next to his brothers.  
"I… I need to use the bathroom first, you go ahead"  
Todomatsu's face turned pale.  
"What? Go down the hallway by myself? In the dark?... I don't think so"  
Choromatsu silently cursed his brother's fear and his own aching boner in his pants.  
"I'll wait" Todomatsu said with determination in his voice.  
Before waiting his brothers reply the younger one sat down on the floor next to the bathroom door.  
"Well get to it then" he said casually whilst staring at his brother with an expressionless face.  
Choromatsu tried to conceal the inner crisis he was having by clenching his jaws shut.  
"Fine" he managed to force out through his closely pressed together lips.

Locking the bathroom door behind him Choromatsu let out an exasperated sigh. How the hell was he supposed to jerk off without his brother noticing? He had only two things on his mind, it had to be quick and he had to be quiet. With finger's trembling out of nervousness he pulled down his pants and grabbed the twitching dick in his hand. It felt hot against his clammy hand. Not wanting to waste time he quickly scoured the room for something to use as lube, the first thing that caught his eye was a skin lotion his mother owned. He could already feel the shame and regret as he reached for the bottle and squeezed some of it out on his hand. Never in a thousand years would he have thought of using it for something like this, but desperate times called for desperate measures. And what time could be more desperate than this, with his brother waiting for him just outside the door? The lotion felt cold against his skin and he quickly covered his hands in the semi-thick substance. He had no time to lose; it had already been about two minutes since he got in there, if he didn't hurry his younger brother would surely start asking questions or nagging on him to hurry up. Focusing on his mental image of Todomatsu in lingerie he finally started stroking himself. As he increased both speed and force it became more and more difficult to keep his breathing low enough to not sound out into the hallway. It felt so good. Biting down on his lower lip to stop himself from moaning he threw his head backwards. Quietly whimpering to himself his knees started to feel weak and he had to use one of his hands to support himself against the wall. It barely helped at all since his lotion covered hand slipped easily on the tiles. Instead he sat down on the floor resting his back against the wall. He soon realized that he was now sitting back to back with his brother with only a wall between them. Disgusting, he was disgusting… but disgusting felt so good. He pumped harder and faster whilst burying his nails into his thigh to stop himself from whispering his brother's name. Mouth clenched shut he breathed heavily through his nose and the pleasure was so intense he couldn't keep his eyes opened.  
"Nii-san?" Todomatsu's muffled voice from the other side of the door surprised the older brother.  
He had completely forgotten about the situation he was in. Quickly realizing that he may have let some noises slip out he covered his own mouth as he came hard. Rapid breath and quick muscle spasms made it impossible for him to reply to his brother.  
"…are you okay?" Todomatsus voice was heard again.  
Choromatsu slowed his pumping down as his breath grew steadier. His cum covered his hand and stained the bathroom floor. This was bad.  
"…yeah" he slowly replied with a low voice, not really thinking about that his voice wouldn't really come from the right direction.  
"Okay" Todomatsu replied after a few moments of silence.

Choromatsu finally calmed down and managed to stand back up. He had to be tactical about cleaning up; the noises had to correspond to him actually using the bathroom as it was intended. He got some toilet paper and wiped the stains of the floor before throwing it in the toilet and flushing. Thereafter he went over to the sink to wash away and the remaining lotion and cum from his hands. There was no way he could discretely wash of his junk at a moment like this, so he had to let it be. Silently he prayed that his brother hadn't noticed anything. If he had, he would be too embarrassed to talk to him ever again. A nervous facial expression stared back at him from the mirror. He took a deep breath as to convince himself everything was going to be okay. Then he opened the door and headed out to face his younger brother.


	3. Chapter 3: Acceptance

Chapter 3: Acceptance

Todomatsu had heard some strange noises from inside the bathroom whilst waiting for his older brother. Or well maybe not too strange noises but he had surely been struggling in there. Maybe his poor older brother had an upset stomach or something like that. Whatever it was it didn't really matter, it's not like he was interested in his brother's toilet-related business. As his brother stepped out in the hallway he himself stood back up on his feet.

"You done?" Todomatsu asked already knowing the answer.

"Yeah" Choromatsu replied with a low voice, refusing to look his younger brother in the eyes.

It was weird right? Sure he had just confessed to his brother that he wanted to crossdress in lingerie but he had said that it was okay. Was it really a lie? Did it bother him? Was he grossed out after all? Todomatsu pouted and crossed his arms.

"Hey, are you still going to avoid me? You said it was okay so why do you seem so uncomfortable?" he was annoyed.

Choromatsu flinched and quickly looked up at his brother. Not knowing what to say he just stared at him. He had to come up with a plausible excuse.

"It's not what you think" was all he managed to say.

Todomatsu raised an eyebrow.

"What is _that_ supposed to mean?"

Feeling like a complete idiot for digging his own grave Choromatsu once again looked away from his brother. He could feel his heart beat faster as panic slowly settled in his stomach. How was he supposed to get out of this?

"Uhm…" Choromatsu hesitated "…It's not… It's not that you want to wear it that's the problem…"

Todomatsu stared at his brother with the most confused expression imaginable.

"…it's… uh… I'm just… it's just… now that you said it I just… this image in my head…"

He could feel the sweat build up in his clenched fists.

"… I don't mind you dressing like that but… I… I hate that I have this image in my head… I don't want to be a part of it…"

Todomatsu's confused expression barely changed as he replied to his brother:

"Well, just stop imagining it then, nobody asked you to be a part of it, what does that even mean?"

"No just… just the thinking of it I guess. I'm sorry, I'm sure I'll be okay tomorrow, I'm just shocked"

Looking at his older brother Todomatsu realized that Choromatsu's presence was somehow unusually small. Being all avoidant with a blush spread across his face really suited him, and even though the thought didn't register in Todomatsu's mind he thought his older brother was really cute.

Whilst silently staring at his older brother Todomatsu suddenly realized what was happening. Right in front of him was his older brother, blushing, because he was imagining Todomatsu wearing lingerie. Immediately the situation got a lot more amusing. A mischievous smirk spread across his face.

"You said it makes you uncomfortable to imagine me in lingerie but… you're doing it right now aren't you? And you're blushing… does it suit me that much?" Todomatsu teased.

He didn't expect a serious answer but rather an annoyed outburst followed by Choromatsu stomping back to bed. Instead, Choromatsu's blush deepened and he turned his face even more away from his younger brother. Todomatsu's heart skipped a beat. Suddenly his mouth felt really dry and his whole body temperature seemed to have risen. Then something that Todomatsu would never have been able to foresee happened; Choromatsu, with his head hanging low, nodded slowly. Todomatsu's face turned red instantly. Was he being serious right now? Choromatsu, the high and mighty, the proper one, actually nodded to this? Todomatsu started to feel like all of this was just a really weird dream because there was just no way that any of this, could be real. To Todomatsu's relief Choromatsu was still staring down at his feet and couldn't see his flustered expression.

"So…" Todomatsu began hesitantly "…you're uncomfortable because you imagine me wearing lingerie and… and you think it suits me? What… what exactly…"

"Why don't we just go back to bed? I'm pretty sure we're both really uncomfortable right now, why not pretend like this never happened? Today never happened" Choromatsu interrupted his younger brother without looking up from his feet.

Todomatsu stared at his brother quietly. Something was definitely up with his brother. Suddenly a shiver shot through Todomatsu's spine. His heart was beating almost hard enough for it to be painful.

"Don't tell me… did you just…" Todomatsu glanced towards the bathroom and nervously licked his lips "… the noises… in there did you… did you just… jerk off?"

Hearing the words out loud Todomatsu realized how crazy of a question he just asked. He felt a bit silly for even thinking of it… until he saw Choromatsu's reaction.

Choromatsu couldn't take up any less space if he chopped of both his arms. It was as if he tried to disappear into nothingness right where he stood. His face was unbelievably red and Todomatsu swore he could see his brother's heartbeat through his shirt. There was no need for words; Choromatsu's silence spoke for itself.

"S…Seriously?" Todomatsu stammered in disbelief.

Turning his back towards his younger brother Choromatsu drew a quick, sharp, breath. He quickly hid his face in his hands in a desperate try to hide the tears that were soon to surface in his eyes. Todomatsu didn't know what to do. Silently watching his older brother he remained in place. The silence was broken by Choromatsu's quick and shallow breathing getting louder and louder in time with his shoulders violently shaking. A sniffle, and then Choromatsu was full on sobbing his heart out. Todomatsu had never seen his older brother like this and the sight made his heart ache. With a pained and concerned expression Todomatsu took a step closer to his brother. He wanted to comfort him but had no idea how. He tried to swallow, but his mouth was too dry.

"I'm sorry" Choromatsu managed to whisper between sobs.

"It's okay…" Todomatsu's voice was low.

Slowly he raised his hand and placed it gently onto Choromatsu's shoulder; he just wanted to do something, anything, to help his brother. It remained there for about half a second until Choromatsu stepped away to avoid his touch. He turned around to stare directly into his younger brother's eyes. Tears were streaming down his frustrated expression.

"Don't you understand how gross this is?! Don't you realize what I've done...? Don't fucking touch me…"

Not knowing what to say Todomatsu felt as if he might start to cry any second as well. He felt so helpless. It hurt so bad to see his brother like this. But what could he say? After all he _knew_ it was disgusting… he _knew_ … but still…

"Please listen, it's okay, it's not your fault…" Todomatsu started whislt taking another hesitant step towards his brother.

Choromatsu jumped backwards yet again.

"Don't come any closer!" Choromatsu's voice changed from sad to serious "I'm disgusting"

Trying to figure out what to say Todomatsu watched his brother wipe his face with his sleeve in silence. When he was done he looked up and Todomatsu could meet his gaze. Choromatsu's entire face seemed to be red from the crying; his eyes were red and puffy, red lines ran down his face where the tears had streamed and his nose and lips had turned red as well.

"I'm not disgusted. Okay? I know I should feel disgusted but I don't care. I actually find it more amusing than disgusting, so don't worry"

Choromatsu let out another sniffle as his expression returned to a more neutral state. This time when Todomatsu reached out for him, he didn't move away. Once Todomatsu confirmed that he wouldn't he basically threw himself at his older brother to give him a hug. Surprised, Choromatsu didn't return the hug immediately, but it didn't take long until he wrapped his arms around his younger brother in relief.

"I'm sorry" he whispered again.

"Shhh. It's okay" Todomatsu whispered back at him.

They remained like that for a good five minutes engulfed in silence. In the end Todomatsu grabbed his brother's hand and they walked together back to their bedroom.

The Matsuno sixtuplets were always sleeping in the same order in the futon they all shared. From right to left there was Ichimatsu, Karamatsu, Todomatsu, Osomatsu, Choromatsu and Jyuushimatsu. Now and again this order would be disrupted, by one thing, and one thing only. That thing was Todomatsu using the bathroom in the middle of the night. Whenever this happened he would wake up Choromatsu and the two of them would leave the futon together. This meant that Osomatsu, the oldest and the clingiest of the six, would be left without anyone on either side of him. And Osomatsu being Osomatsu he didn't like being left alone, even whilst he was asleep. Without fail, he would always roll over to Todomatsu's space and cuddle up next to Karamatsu. Whenever this happened Todomatsu would just sleep in Osomatsu's space because he honestly didn't care who he slept next to as long as he _did_ sleep next to someone and not on the outside edge; he was afraid of the dark after all. However that was never a problem since both Ichimatsu and Jyuushimatsu were very fond of their places. Ichimatsu had by far the highest body temperature and he would definitely overheat if he slept somewhere in the middle, and Jyuushimatsu were way too energetic even in his sleep; he moved around way too much to be comfortable in between two people. Jyuushimatsu's moving around also somehow caused him to roll out of the futon and he was in general hard to cuddle up to, which was probably the reason why Osomatsu always slept in Todomatsu's space rather than Choromatsu's. And as expected, when the two brothers returned to the bedroom they found Osomatsu soundly asleep in Todomatsu's space.

"Uhm… is this…" Choromatsu started, clearly wondering if it would really be okay to sleep next to each other after everything that had happened.

"Yes it is" Todomatsu interrupted him.

He let go of his brother's hand and moved over to the futon to lie down in Osomatsu's space. Choromatsu followed hesitantly but decided not to make a big deal out of it if Todomatsu didn't.

That being said Choromatsu was completely unable to relax. He was lying down on his back, staring in to the ceiling with his eyes wide open. A shiver spread through his body as he once again realized that Todomatsu now knew. He knew that he had jerked off to him. Choromatsu felt extremely uncomfortable and he became aware of every movement, how his chest moved up and down with every breath he took, and how quickly his heart was beating. He didn't know how much time had passed; minutes or hours? It did however feel like quite a long time and that's why he was sure Todomatsu had already fallen asleep. Slowly and carefully he turned his head to the side to look at the younger one. But to his surprise Todomatsu was wide awake, looking at him in the darkness. At first glance the big eyes scared him and his whole body jumped away from the big staring eyes. Todomatsu giggled quietly at the sight.

"What are you doing?" Choromatsu whispered with annoyance in his voice.

Todomatsu didn't reply right away, instead he was studying his older brother's features. He could still see the redness in his older brother's eyes.

"I'm just watching you" he finally whispered back.

Choromatsu raised his eyebrows.

"I can see that, why? Why aren't you sleeping?"

"Felt like I had to keep an eye on you now that I know I'm your jerk off material" Todomatsu whispered with a devilish grin across his face.

Choromatsu's face turned red of embarrassment and his expression changed from annoyed to helpless. He quickly pulled his hands up from under the cover to place them over Todomatsu's mouth.

"Shhh! What if anyone is awake?"

A second later he retracted his hands with a horrified facial expression. Todomatsu had licked his palm. Not knowing what to say Choromatsu simply just stared at his younger brother with wide eyes.

"Don't cover my mouth" Todomatsu whispered.

"Then shut up" Choromatsu said and wiped the palm of his hand with the blanket to get rid of the saliva.

When he had managed to get it off he continued:

"And you know I wouldn't touch you right? Especially not when you're sleeping, so don't mind me and try to sleep okay?"

Todomatsu smiled.

"Yeah I know, I was just joking"

"Well please don't, I'll think you're serious you know…" Choromatsu mumbled and once again turned away from his younger brother.

He turned around completely so that his whole body was facing Jyuushimatsu instead. With his back turned he could pretend to fall asleep and then Todomatsu couldn't bother him anymore. Still, Choromatsu did know that it would be impossible for him to fall asleep, but he wanted to be left alone. He also didn't want to ruin Todomatsu's sleep schedule completely and maybe if he turned the other way Todomatsu would have an easier time to fall asleep himself.

"Goodnight" he mumbled and pulled the blanket up enough to cover half his head.

"Goodnight" Todomatsu whispered behind him and seemingly turned the other way.

At some point during the night Choromatsu had managed to fall asleep despite all odds. When he woke up he felt a bit disoriented; it was still really early and for some reason he was lying on his side. Choromatsu was a man of habit and he would always, _always_ , sleep on his back, so the fact that he was facing Jyuushimatsu made him feel out of place. The next thing he noticed was that Osomatsu had his arm around him from behind. It did happen at times but mostly both Osomatsu and Karamatsu would cling to Todomatsu. The three of them were the cuddly ones after all. A yawn escaped his mouth before he turned around to lie down properly on his back. It was quite difficult since he didn't want to wake up his older brother. Halfway through the turn he froze on the spot to stare at the brother next to him. That wasn't Osomatsu. Another yawn escaped his mouth and suddenly he remembered everything that had happened during the night. It was Todomatsu. Todomatsu had his arm around him. A shiver shot through his body as he imagined a thousand different scenarios where Todomatsu woke up; none of them good. A quick look around the room told him that all his brothers were still asleep. Carefully he tried to move Todomatsu's arm away from him. At first it looked like it would work but the younger brother flinched in his sleep only to hug the older one even tighter. Choromatsu closed his eyes contemplating if the best solution was to wake his brother up and apologize or to go back to sleep and pretend like he didn't know. However his contemplation was cut short as Todomatsu opened his eyes. It didn't take long before Todomatsu realized what was happening.

"Oh come on stop worrying" he sneered and closed his eyes again, not loosening the grip around his brother in the slightest.

Choromatsu didn't know what to think or feel. Was it really okay? Todomatsu had told him he wasn't disgusted but, was he really this indifferent about it? Didn't he care at all? Still cautious Choromatsu lied back down properly. For some reason he had expected Todomatsu to pull away, but instead he clung even tighter to his side. He pulled on Choromatsu's arm and put it around himself, using his shoulder as a pillow. Choromatsu's mouth was dry and his heart beating fast. It didn't take long before Todomatsu placed his hand on Choromatsu's chest.

"It's beating really hard" he whispered with an amused smile.

Choromatsu kept his eyes closed in a desperate try to gain control over his body and his stupid heart that was being way too obvious.

"Sorry" he mumbled.

"No don't apologize, it's fine" Todomatsu replied.

A yawn escaped Todomatsu's lips and he tucked himself in even more.

"Let's sleep some more" he continued and moved his hand from Choromatsu's chest down to the opposite side of his waist.

Choromatsu didn't reply. He was too busy feeling every inch of Todomatsu's body that was pressing against his own. The places he touched seemed to be on fire and Todomatsu's breath tickled the side of his neck. It wasn't fair. He couldn't think of a single reason for why his brother would tease him like this. Was it really on purpose? Had he forgotten about what had happened yesterday? Choromatsu struggled not to sigh. Maybe he just wanted blackmail material? Or maybe he simply found it hilarious. Whatever the reason for Todomatsu's behavior was, Choromatsu realized that he was grateful. He was grateful because somehow Todomatsu was now closer to him, and he was able to hold Todomatsu as they were about to fall asleep. On the inside Choromatsu was nervous that Todomatsu would wake up later, properly, and realize that this had been a mistake… but as for now he just wanted to enjoy his presence. He wanted to make the most out of it before Todomatsu realized just how disgusting it all was and before he started to hate him. Choromatsu clenched his fist around the fabric of Todomatsu's shirt. Neither of them said anything, neither of them did anything, and slowly they drifted back to sleep again.


End file.
